Sweet Sixteen Date

Two dates down, three to go before I hand over the planning to my prince!

For the next theme, I took advantage of the fact that the next date was scheduled for August 16th:


The inside read:

…on Monday evening,
August 16th.
Please dress for the occasion
(tie requested ☺)
and write out answers
to the 8 questions to the left
(half of our combined 16)
in preparation for sharing answers


…and the left side said

Since August 16th is
St. Stephen of Hungary’s Day,
here are some questions about hunger.
Please be specific and detailed!
1) What would best satisfy your intellectual hunger? (what intellectual “food” do you most desire–including intellectual activities and/or information?)
2) What are you emotionally hungry for?
3) What are you spiritually hungry for?
4) What are you relationally hungry for?
5) What sounds best satisfy your auditory hunger?
6) What sensations best fill your tactile hunger?
7) What sights best fill your visual hunger?
8 ) What motions (or lack thereof) best fill your proprioceptive hunger?

[my prince’s “love language” is predominantly auditory,
while mine is more tactile & proprioceptive]

I gave this to my prince a few days ahead of time so he could think through his answers and write them down. Then I thought through and wrote out my own answers.

The meal wasn’t quite as much of a production this time, but I did make wheat-free bread for my prince (I’d done it once before, but then barley got knocked out of his diet & I had to re-work the recipe–thankfully it still came out well!). I put grilled chicken breast through the meat grinder for chicken salad (open-faced sandwiches) & filled out the menu with more chard-garbanzo bean dip, cucumber slices (we can’t keep up with the cucumbers from the garden!) and seed milk. The “Sweet 16” part was limited to having 16 cucumber slices each with the dip!

We both dressed up & had a festive dinner 🙂 before settling in on the couch with a bowl of popcorn (one of our few snack food options) for the questions.

The questions worked better than I’d expected–they sure got my prince talking! He probably could’ve gone on all night on just one of them! And having time to think through and write through the questions beforehand (I’m a writer, not a talker!) helped me organize my thoughts enough to contribute meaningfully to the conversation too (as well as leaving a record for future reference).

The overarching theme that emerged was that my prince has a hunger for the transcendent, the awe-inspiring, the vast. My hunger is more immanent, little things. It was quite an eye-opener, and we both plan to go back to each others’ lists for ideas in filling those hungers. It was also an object lesson of what we’ve been reading lately about the differences between men & women. Men do tend to “think big”, while women tend to want little things (she wants a simple, single flower on a regular basis–even a dandelion he picked in the yard–while he wants to give her an impressive bouquet of a dozen roses once in a blue moon). It’s just part of the “genius” of each gender.

I’m not sure yet specifically how we’ll put what we learned into practise, but was good to gain a deeper understanding of each other and to feel more deeply understood!
It was a very meaningful evening.

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One Response to Sweet Sixteen Date

  1. Angie says:

    Okay, now I’m really hooked! I’m so proposing this to Kurt! I can’t wait to come up with ideas of my own!

    By the way, how’s the RCIA going…I’ve been meaning to email you as we’ll be having a program in our parish for the first time and certainly could use what ever help we can get.

    Hope and pray you’re both well! Keep posting these dates– I’m looking forward to reading more!!

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